Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dolphin Humpers

So for some reason, we were talking about dolphins and I brought up that fact that dolphins are rapists. So my friend Cristin found a tutorial about how to have sex with dolphins. I'm sure you don't want this in your history at work (it will be awkward if your IT guy has to confront you about this) but it is a VERY detailed explanation of how to do it with a dolphin (both sexes), complete with a deeply emotional encounter with the male writer and a female dolphin. Here's an excerpt:

"I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done."

It's all about the sharing.


Lesley Robin said...

i think i just creamed my panties. i hope this creates a new species of dolphin people.